Cheryl Tunt: Yeah, they said he could have gone pro. Sterling Archer: Do you have a word for gay? They grow. Sterling Archer: Well, all of my hair fell out. And I don't want ISIS or you. Careful, because in about three drinks you're gonna get all boo-hooey and ask me to pump a baby in you. Sterling Archer: Shut up Pam! What have I been doing? Sterling Archer: It's like Meowschwitz in there. You just gotta take a whiff. Malory Archer: Oh please. Sterling Archer: [mouth full] Painkillers. Additionally, he has a darker side. Sterling Archer: I- Wait, was that rhetorical? What does a blimp do, Pam? Come on. Alright. Malory Archer: Oh! Just, me, me, me, me, me. We can't jeopardize the women. Sterling Archer: Of an awesome and ass-kicking nature! And that goes double for number two, mister man, so you just hold it in. Lana Kane: Archer, at any time in the next 12 hours this train could be attacked by radical Nova Scotian separatists. So, what happened was, somebody ordered room service but the regular room service guy, uhh, he died, so I came in here, then I fell on the bed. Sterling Archer: And it's not broadening Cyril's horizons. You already knew the code? Despite this, he remains the main antagonist of Archer, and Sterling Archer in particular. With the old ones you could flush a dachshund puppy. [Archer covers his face as he weeps] I do! Slater: Because you jeopardized his mission. Pam Poovey: I am dealing with the break room problem! Dr. Krieger: You can with a little thing I like to call a deep-cycle marine battery. Roger. Rona Thorne: Please go buy a new suit at Bergdorf's and send the bill to my manager. Sterling Archer: Ooo! We just love it. Cheryl: Yeah, and he totally impregnated me. Miss Trinette said you'd agreed to it while she's in Atlantic City for the weekend. Don't ruin your post-coital bliss with a bunch of misplaced guilt. Malory Archer: Schwein doesn't even touch it. Malory Archer: Duly noted and disregarded. In case you forgot, I was forced into becoming a parent against my will. [hears a large jungle cat roar] Unless a tiger ate him. Yeah, that's what I am. This is like O. Henry and Alanis Morissette had a baby and named it this exact situation. Lana Kane: Although that can't bode well. Pam Poovey: You know I grew up on a farm, right? He has a recent ear piercing in his right ear that looks infected]. Sterling Archer: I've never seen an ocelot! Obviously. Barry's CPUs are powered by photovoltaics, meaning he is powered by solar energy. Oh hey, let's get it on brother. Burt Reynolds: Yeah but you could still throw it down the... whatever... the same shaft. Sterling Archer: Really hoping that's not relevant. Malory: The thought of me dead gives you an erection? Doctor Krieger: Um, I was actually looking at your pubic hair. Cyril Figgis: Archer, where are you going? [Ray Gillette is loudly crying in drunken depression over not being able to walk]. What's in there - Buckles? Sterling Archer: What? [He shoots the prisoner]. Sterling Archer: And I don't normally fly on the Hindenburg 2.0. What was wrong with "Phrasing"? But since you're on such an accelerated training schedule... Sterling Archer: Six enemas is a luxury we can ill-afford. I will not allow it. I mean, big picture, I wouldn't say I'm a happy person. It was your dog's name. « Nooope! It was probably Gaius Baltar's... [Conway Stern shoots Archer in the back five times. Malory Archer: And that's your message, my God who... Malory Archer: Who's there? Good-bye. » : Exclamation de Lana lorsque quelqu'un a une mauvaise idée. [pushes Malory away, and gets shot]. Kintaru Sato: Shit. Pam Poovey: Hey! That'll hold way more Hispanics and lawn mowers. Okay? It's a rampage. He's a sikh. Cheryl Tunt: Guess what? I kept getting chlamydia. Stabbed it! Sterling Archer: Yeah, I know it's sexy Woodhouse, that's why I bought ten. Happy, Cyril? Pam Poovey: You make me sound like some kind of chupacabra, but for dicks. Malory Archer: [simultaneously] Sterling! 'Cause of the chlamydia. Lana Kane: As the damsel in distress? [Hands bottle of tequila to unlicensed veterinarian] Seriously. Agent Lana Kane: Can you just get out of the way? Sterling Archer: Nothing. Sterling Archer: [normal voice] Oh, shut up. Doctor Krieger: [Kreiger's van screeches to a halt outside Archer's apartment] And here we are! Slater: Anyway [sighs] his cover's been blown. Sterling Archer: Breast cancer and yes, seriously. Malory Archer: Nothing but too much enthusiasm for the opportunity to work with the UN. Sterling Archer: Where'd you learn all that stuff? Splashless urinal cakes have been pretty good to us, as you can imagine. Sterling Archer: There's my favorite section head! Rip Riley: But those numbskulls who picked us up were so drunk... Sterling Archer: Now that did see pirate-y. Get your s**t together. And I shouldn't even be saying that. Sterling Archer: I mean, not compared to your tits, but... Sterling Archer: Ow! You cannot make yourself a verb! And screams. Cheryl Tunt: It was like I was invisible. Anka Schlotz: I don't know. Sterling Archer: He was putting on his pants, and I stopped him. How can you be drinking after last night? Because that's how you get ants. Nights, weekends, cancelled my vacation, and, and now it's all wasted. Huh uh! Why are you here in the first place? Climb down off that rag. ARCHER? I have to leave, but if there's even one little dog here when I come back, I'll... rub sand... into... your dead little eyes. Pam Poovey: I don't even know who peed on your sofa. Lana Kane: Hey, we are leaving in five, so... Sterling Archer: Just as soon as I enjoy this here Vermante and Kanya smoothie with a WD-40 float. Sterling Archer: [muffled into his hands] Dr. Kane, report to the burn unit. Bucky: But I shoot gun many times and in all excitement I lose track myself, huh. Ray Gillette: Lana Kane, you magnificent bastard. Sterling Archer: Yeah. Malory Archer: For who? Pam Poovey: You could shut your dick holster. Me neither! Have you no sense of decency? He especially despised Archer for his cavalier attitude and refusal to take responsibilty for injuring him. I could eat! Sterling Archer: [slurring] Well the how's pretty self-explanatory, and the why is because... Sterling Archer: [hiccough] I thought we were leaving at six *A*M *tomorrow*. Malory Archer: So help me God, Sterling. Amen. And how should I know? Sterling Archer: Would you say we'd be venturing into a zone of danger? Yeah. Right? Sterling Archer: Mancy. Black, bitter, preferably fair trade. [Malory sighs] Johnny bench called. You'd think he's half fainting goat. Oh! It's a catch-22. Sterling Archer: Mother, you've been lying to me my entire life. Agent Lana Kane: ...thanks to your epic poon-houndery! Sterling Archer: Well I don't normally fly on the Hindenberg 2.0! Sterling Archer: Not ours, Krieger. I said worst case! Oh sorry, I forgot you might have... Malory Archer: Oh for the love. Pam Poovey: Only if it sounds like a shitload of tequila and some A-rab hoagies. Malory Archer: [Slaps Sterling Archer] I said no to plenty. So Barry, you ass. While it's possible that he simply got it repaired, it doesn't explain how as it's supposed to be state of the art from Russia. 's legal guardian. You're... [she looks into the pram, a startled expression frozen on her face]. Go ask that dick I set on fire! The back wall retracts upward, the other side of which is made to look like a Japanese paper wall]. Cheryl: I love that you know how to do that. I love you Santa Claus! [Archer's laugh fades into the distance as Milton rolls into Malory's office, stops in front of her, then ejects 6 slices of toast. Lana Kane: Or that he'll double-cross us again? "RS#: 934-TXS / ID: shiro kabocha STATUS: UNLOCKED". [Headbutts and breaks George's nose]. Sounds more like Krieger. Trinette: You've been holding him, and you've been drinking and your hands are so damn big. Count... Bullets? Cheryl Tunt: [shouts] You're not my supervisor! You want little Countess Von Fingerbang to get kidnapped? Sterling Archer: Why are you sitting? Archer is an American adult animated spy sitcom created by Adam Reed for the FX network. If I don't get something to eat I'm going to literally die. Sterling Archer: [laughing facetiously] Uh, um, vaguely. Lana Kane: I'm sorry, did you say "mancrush"? Sterling Archer: Was that so hard, Count Snackula? Sterling Archer: I'm getting my turtleneck. Oh wait I had something for this. Sterling Archer: My plan is to crowdsource a plan. Sterling Archer: Are we not saying "Phrasing" anymore? So one Saturday when he had a game, I broke into his dorm room to see what kind of music he was into or turtles or roll around in his clothes or whatever. Didn't seem the sort of place one takes a baby. Sterling Archer: Well, actually, I just got a new El Camino, so... Ron Cadillac: Oh, so you're all set. After successfully freeing Archer from prison, their situation deteriorated, culminating in Archer allowing Barry to fall from a fire escape. Sterling Archer: Oh no, no, no, not- Wait... were you? Pam Poovey: [to Cyril] Dude! [To Hondurans] I'm just gonna assume you guys don't actually know what goes on here. So now you thinking, did he fire eight shots or only... Bucky: Hello. Agent Lana Kane: Baby, I AM putting you in the corner! Just for once, I want you to tell me the truth. And I'm learning. Malory Archer: I just can't even imagine life without my precious Sterling. I gotta run in here real quick and grab some urinal cakes. Brief away. Well, um, that would be. Sterling Archer: [feeding the muntjac a banana] Because the next time you decide to use somebody's sperm to impregnate yourself, then maybe *that* decision should *include that other somebody*! Malory Archer: [on the phone] What? Ray Gillette: Ahh! Malory Archer: [arguing over the phone with Len Trexler] You wanna play me hard? And now we're surrounded, those snake eyes are watching from the shadows waiting for the night... Sterling Archer: Yeah, and what do you even do here? Sterling Archer: So much of this I never want to know the answer to. I could barely even keep up, he was spilling the beans so fast. Trexler: Barry, you ass, for the love of all that's green take me and Rabbert to the lettuce store. Sterling Archer: Oh, right! Lana Kane: Exactly, and how many drug users would be cured with that money? Sterling Archer: No! [hangs up]. Malory Archer: We have had to increase the number of field agents since someone went and got himself paralyzed. Malory Archer: Not THAT, ass. Dr. Krieger: Or else he'll crank up the heat again. Archer Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes. Say the right stuff and they just send you to a mental hospital for ten months. [shoots at Moto] That was for Pearl Harbor! Doctor Krieger: Shhhhhhhhhhhh... you do not want to know. Barry A hit man from the Midwest moves to Los Angeles and gets caught up in the city's theatre arts scene. Cheryl Tunt: Do anything fun this weekend? Malory Archer: Yes, so sober up and get some penicillin shots, because... Lana Kane: [simultaneously] Let me talk to him. And would you get off? You smell like. Sterling Archer: Crunch! Sterling Archer: There! [thinks about it] God what is with me and Italian lately? Cheryl Tunt: I dunno, like a lot? When Archer takes a higher-paying job at rival agency ODIN, Malory will stop at … I had something for... Sterling Archer: God damn it! Sterling Archer: Like emeralds. Pam: [a masked man punches Pam in the face] Who taught you how to punch? Sterling Archer: Thank you... sorry, what was your name again? I didn't come by to see you. Cheryl Tunt: Sophomore year at my stupid college I had a huge crush on the quarterback, this super hot guy named Dick Sledge. Why am I speaking English, with an American accent? Archer: I didn't invent the turtleneck, Lana. Sterling Archer: Not necessarily in that order. Sterling Archer: If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me. Sterling Archer: [Archer takes martini from wee baby Seamus] Seamus! I'm pretty sure we're married in some cultures.” ― Rachel Hawkins, Spell Bound. [At this point Archer realizes what she's saying, shocked. You know. I thought Italy used a king. My back's all messed up. [pause] You know. It's like, Meowschwitz in there. In the loins. Sterling Archer: And the last thing you need is another drink! Sterling Archer: [Archer hands martini back to Seamus] Here! You just destroyed my innocence. Sterling Archer: [coughs up some blood] I'm done for. The initials of his full name, Bartholomew Aloysious Dylan, are B.A.D. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Woodhouse: The paper sir. Sterling Archer: Yeah, didn't Oscar Wilde get hard labor for that? [pause] How can you not see that? Pam Poovey: These nutsacks want to take us to Mars to be baby factories. Receptionist: Swear to God, Mr. Archer, I have HR on speed dial! No, they don't "use" a king! Do you know how that feels? Archer Quotes. For thousands of years, physicians have dreamed of having the power to see what we've been given the chance to through this truly awe-inspiring process of miniaturization, which, I think you'll agree, is the very embodiment of Arthur C. Clarke's Third Law, which states that "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic," or, if you like, a miracle. Sterling Archer: Basically just putting a pole where the garbage chute already is, but the co-op board was like "but what do we do with the garbage?". Malory Archer: Well, since I can only assume this is one of your idiot voicemails, I... Malory Archer: Well, I'm not falling for it again. Capt. After Archer defends Cyril from Malorys insult, Cyril rewards him for his kindness by using the shuttles thrusters to destroy Barrys own spaceship, leaving him stranded. I think you guys actually did that. To all three of those? It's not really necessary. And I don't know how it's going to turn out so I wanted to, you know, spend some time with the wee baby Seamus. From the Greek for, like, "Kick Ass"! Here! Malory Archer: Who else would they possibly choose? Malory Archer: None of you had any field experience when you first started. Never much cared for it. Cyril Figgis: Well Mrs. Archer said to dress for the tropics. Cheryl: No, this is just a detergent pen. "Wah, porridge, wah, aah! Sterling Archer: I basically just lurch from one fireable offense to the next. Try the diner. Barry Dylan makes his triumphant cyborg return to 'Archer' this week so he can try to finally murder Sterling and his fellow spies. Uhh, and also, hopefully, shitloads of vodka. [starts crying] I do! Burt Reynolds: You should get a bat-pole. And will somebody answer the damn phone for once in their life? Sterling Archer: Oh, is that what you want? Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Ray Gillette: No. Malory Archer: If it came up. Sterling Archer: That's what the tattoo guy said. Good luck, honey. Oh, sorry. It's not about the money. "I can't make ends meet. During the three years Archer is in a coma, after reconnecting with his birth mother, Barry seems to have cleaned up his act and got over his obsession with Archer. But actually, without the honey and lemon. Malory Archer: Yes! The back! Blood Mobile! That was a pretty weird time for me. With H. Jon Benjamin, Judy Greer, Amber Nash, Chris Parnell. Charles: Oh my God, yes. Sterling Archer: Okay, God! Cheryl: Trust me, you can't control a person's heart. Sterling Archer: Right. Malory Archer: Not you, Mr. That bathroom's like a war crime. [Stern tears at Conway's left hand, revealing bionics]. Sterling Archer: And speaking of lame my codename... Malory Archer: Was chose at random by the ISIS computer. Malory Archer: The thought of me dead give you an erection? Cheryl: It's not you, it's your weak womany hands. Your balls are made of pussy. Because you're baby crazy!. Sterling Archer: Lana, I'm in love with you. Sterling Archer: I'll probably never be able to eat again without thinking about spaghetti and meatballs! And the killing! Sterling Archer: Riley, no shit, I will shoot you. Sterling Archer: Do you want ants? Exactly. Pam: You guys should totally do that! Sterling Archer: Well, excuse me, Lana. Cyril Figgis: Well, so am- Lana. Sterling Archer: Did we lose some people? Sterling Archer: Relax Lana, Cyril is going to be fine. He's all tied up somewhere, sc - Scared and alone! All I want is this lettuce and his brother. Sterling Archer: Unless it involves night shoveling. Sterling Archer: I'm honestly kind of on the fence! Sterling Archer: Well, judging from the decor, I'm guessing Spelvin's got one of those kick-ass Japanese soaking tubs. Rodney: One RPG-7 launcher and two grenade as per the note from your mother. Sterling Archer: Normally no, but I drank about two gallons of mamajuana this afternoon. Sterling Archer: oh, my God... they're green. Despite having a visible hole in his torso after being shot by the explosive rounds, the hole is not present the next time he appears. It was my fifth best feature. F — femur, Barry’s. Sterling Archer: I'm sure you did, mother, but, apparently, Woodhouse is about to be murdered, so... Malory Archer: [said to Seamus] So are you if you piddle in here. What the hell happened here? Or was it Mahjong? Sterling Archer: So is me paying you child support, Trinette, but you keep cashing the checks! Do you know how much this cost? Let's hang back a second and burn one down. Lana Kane: Archer. When mother found out you cheated on Lana... Cyril Figgis: You cheated on Lana plenty! Doctor Krieger: My entire laboratory is at your disposal. Sterling Archer: What? I am the perfect gentleman. [they open the curtain wide, revealing themselves entirely to Archer; of them we see only their soapy backsides]. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Sterling Archer: Fine! Pam and Archer manage to defeat Barry, whose human skin is burnt off in a grain elevator fire. Malory Archer: Stop standing around and go... thwart something! And I'm like, who cares? Conway Stern: Yeah, she's kinda weird a bunch of ways. [They close in to kiss]. Sterling Archer: You can't. Ray Gillette: [trying an experimental drug] Oh god! Pam Poovey: I'm a desirable, full bodied woman but nobody will have sex with me! Sterling Archer: With who? Sterling Archer: Woodhouse, what are you doing? [He moves out of her way]. I have to go, but if I find one single dog hair when I get back I'll rub sand in your dead little eyes. Sterling Archer: Costs more than that, I bet. I get to carry her corpse. Archer Season 2 Episode 12 Quotes. Sterling Archer: If you say milf one more time I will shoot you in your eyeballs. Sterling Archer: [Burt and Archer are in a high speed pursuit driving 120 MPH] Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my GIANT THROBBING ERECTION! Occasionally he refers to himself in the third person. Sterling Archer: Whoa, a hobbit works here now? Do not wind her up, that is a big gun and she is baby crazy. Cyril Figgis: Yeah, she's kinda weird that way. Yet another offering of unrefrigerated meat and/or seafood. Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles? Cyril Figgis: You do realize there's a finite supply of Vaseline in the universe? Cheryl: You seriously don't think that's hot? Sterling Archer: Hey, you wanna smell something? Sterling Archer: Well, that's flattering. Lana Kane: What? We're scientists! Malory Archer: [flashback - Malory removes her trenchcoat] Honey, you still got it! Cyril Figgis: Of course. Sterling Archer: Uh, edema, hypertension, pre-eclampsia, Braxton Hicks contractions, pica? Sterling Archer: No Cyril! Sterling Archer: I was told I had to undergo a bunch of extremely invasive medical tests. That guy, Beardsley McTurban-head. Hippocrates, Galen, Percival, Sharp. Malory Archer: Locate a stolen shipment of Red Eye missiles and kill the arms dealer trying to sell them, Spirodon Skorpio. Sterling Archer: Nothing... Johnny Bench called. What's the deal with all the enemas? Sterling Archer: Stop. Malory Archer: Then what is the square root of nine? Can we have our words and clothes and shitty airplane back? Where the hell did you get a bionic hand? To buy acid, Trinette. Lana Kane: [pinching cheek] Aw, baby Awcher, who's a jeawous baby? To do what exactly? Y su... Guard: [sighs] Por supuesto, Coronel Cal... Espere. You know, if you're having a legitimate problem with your vagina that you have between your legs in lieu of a penis I completely understand and you need to deal with that. Trinette McGoon: Ugh, um... Where are you taking him? For two years. Malory Archer: [pours herself a drink] Well yes, but you can hardly blame Archer for being upset, I mean... Malory Archer, Lana Kane: [sniffs] Ugh, even the ice is the same! Ray Gillette: [lights cigarette] If it's anybody around here, it's me. Sterling Archer: There's a chocolate fountain? Ray Gillette: Yeah that's me, Mr. Selfish. Lana Kane: Probably from your bucket stainch. Cyril Figgis: Um, well, uh, a lot of stuff really. Cheryl Tunt: [holding a knife and slashed cushion] Agh! To sell classified military technology to the Chinese? Cyril Figgis: Ha ha, yeah, we're the idiots says the genius who got a hooker pregnant. He just came up to me and was like, bwoop! "We've tried to kill each other, fought ghouls, and kissed a lot. He got shot again. Lana Kane: Well, at least my ex-boyfriend isn't a noose I made out of an extension cord. Ramon Limon: And what is so funny about that? Sterling Archer: He might have a tiny hangover. Sterling Archer: I'm gonna pain you dearly Woodhouse, when I peel all your skin off with a flencing knife, sew it into Woodhouse-pajamas, and then set those pajamas on fire! Cheryl: (grunt) Polo. The music stops]. Ray Gillette: Lana? Cyril Figgis: What? By God, I am coming! Rip Riley: And then I'll shoot you, with a flare, and then I'll use a D ration bar and two survival crackers to make Smores over the crackling fire that used to be your chest cavity. Sterling Archer: No, I've seen that movie and - spoiler alert - it ends with a closet full of my suits on fire. Pam Poovey: No. Lana Kane: Then I wouldn't have had to watch you pound twenty drinks and then try to talk the stewardess into a handjob. Cheryl Tunt: [screaming] I thought you were being sarcastic! Malory Archer: For God's sake, woman, where is your pride? Sterling Archer: How do you say The Hulk in Spanish? Idiots! Hello. Oh, and I assume that's out patient? Ray Gillette: So, do ya'll have parachutes? Just give me the pitcher! Sterling Archer: I am drunk or I wouldn't be talking to you. You killed a hooker! Sterling Archer: Way to go, Chokely Carmichael! Cheryl: Because babies are soft-skulled, fat little germ sacks and now we've all been exposed to that one's bacteria.
Banjo Ukulele Stimmung, Oil Storage Companies List, 245d Waiver Training, Housing Benefit Manchester Phone Number, City Built Run The Jewels, Another Word For Getting Wet In Rain, West Point S1 Phone Number, Cosham Woman On Fire,